To Love or Not?
by Sasshi
Summary: Well, are they in love or not? Haha.
1. The Attraction

To Love... or Not?  
By Satosh1

Chapter 1: The Attraction

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They've defeated the "Angel Twins" together, side-by-side. Made a fool of themselves while landing on top of each other's Evas within the large blast from the death of their adversary. Their admittance of each other's late night encounter alone in Misato's apartment became all the hilarity within nearly all of NERV's staff. It was obvious; they were both attracted to one another. Expressing just a hint of interest in nearly all of their pointless little feuds, the only people who couldn't perceive their close infatuation would be themselves. Their guardian, Misato, had never meant to have them become so "close", but she figured it be best not to bother them, thinking she would need the amusement within the housing every once in awhile.

And so they lay there within the crater, standing on their Evas with internal phone in hand and continuing their feud, ever so greatly akin to a couple's quarrel.

**Nightfall.**

Daylight became naught, with nary a hint of existence. Darkness engulfed the skies and dimmed the clouds. The light of glowing stars shone down upon everyone within the city of Tokyo-3. Tranquil silver moonlight seeped into the apartment building porch window, where the three NERV employees peacefully reside.

Asuka searched around the kitchen for snacks while Shinji and Misato were in their bedrooms. Finding a bag of chips in one of the drawers, Asuka immediately had it cuddled within her grasp with a perky show, and then happily skipped into the living room. A television and couch were present along with a couple of magazines that rested atop a small table, and it was void of any other presence. With the bag of chips still clutched onto her like a teddy bear, she noticed no one being there and seized the opportunity to obtain a quiet relaxation with her own personal space and pick of TV channels.

Lying leisurely on the tatami floor with a small blue pillow beneath her and gazing deeply into the TV, Asuka grabbed a handful of chips and shoved it down her mouth, rustling and chewing the chips so obnoxiously that both Misato and Shinji could easily hear from within their own bedrooms. But they didn't mind, as they've gotten used to Asuka's bother. Grabbing the remote and changing channels frequently, she gave a small sigh of boredom.

Having been sick of staying within such a confined space, Shinji stepped out of his room and sat on the couch beside Asuka with S-DAT on hand, listening to it and closing his eyes for the immersion. Asuka was surprised to see Shinji sitting just a feet away from her. She glanced at him and noticed how cute he was when he listened to his S-DAT, lying there so peacefully. And then she also noticed he had his eyes closed. She smiled mischievously, thinking it would be the most perfect of opportunities to test their affections; if be true or not.

Asuka playfully kicked Shinji's ankle, and then quickly looked away, her face immediately emanating a color of bright crimson. Of course, Shinji knew it was her.

He smiled at her tease while watching Asuka, her hesitantly grabbing a chip and eating it. Coincidentally, she also glanced back to look at Shinji, not knowing he was looking also. Their eyes to one another, Asuka quickly and shyly looked away. She giggled a bit.

Shinji 's smile became more vibrant as he closed his eyes to listen to his music... though he was thinking about Asuka more than anything else. Leaning back, he laid there contentedly, his thoughts filled only with images of Asuka's beautiful facade. He knew that Asuka liked him and he oh so wanted to be with her, but while thinking of how to approach... that easily didn't become his best suite. Sighing, he continued with his listening to music.

Laying there for a couple of minutes with not a care in the world, he slouched a little more as his favorite song played on his S-DAT, happily nodding with the beats and also motioning his hands and fingers to its catchy rhythm. Then suddenly, an impulsive impression from what felt like someone sitting beside him, startled Shinji but not enough to disturb his otherwise comfortable seating. To a surprise, Shinji felt a slight warmth on his right side and then a rubbing of someone's slender arms that wrapped around his chest in a warmly embrace.

It caused him to jump upwards. He quickly opened his eyes to see that it was unexpectedly, Asuka cradled upon him, her face lovingly buried onto his chest. Shinji was astounded. This was a feeling of affection he was receiving, something Shinji has never experienced or have ever seen before. Moreover, it was an opportune time to become closer to Asuka, without the fear of rejection. But sadly, he still had doubts.

Shinji persuaded himself to wrap his arms around her and he did so, just not quite as smooth or as slick as he wanted. His arms hesitantly approached Asuka's slender waist, having already felt her bodily warmth. Asuka grabbed Shinji's arms with impatience and wrapped them unto herself, continuing to snuggle onto Shinji's chest with a noticeable smile on her face, her tranquil eyes at peace. Shinji finally felt calm, realizing he had the most beautiful girl in his arms, and one he had longed to have. He stroked her hair very gently, and stayed together in this loving embrace for a time.

Misato witnessed everything through her bedroom door, admiring every bit of their affection. As not to interfere, she slid her door shut and continued on with her work. Misato knew she had to report absolutely everything that occurs to the pilots without apprehension or else risk losing her job, but she made an exception. NERV would surely end the relationship if it came to the disturbance of their piloting the Evas, and so she thought it better not to include it. She knew Shinji and Asuka having never gotten the normal lives of most other kids, and she decided it would be best for them both. Misato admired her own compassion and smiled.

**The Next Morning.**

Asuka, with a sunny complexion and liveliness all the same, swiftly jumped out of her bed and skipped along towards the bathroom where she took a nice, warm bath. She then got out after a time and dried up with a towel, then wrapped it around her waist. Grabbing a brush, she carefully combed and straightened her hair. Today was grand day to her, as she finally opened her feelings to a boy she has always sought after. Never will she have to hide anything through such ridiculous quarrels, any longer.

Her urge to see Shinji's face came unto her, and in so, she hastily cleaned up and put on her school clothing while dragging her bag on the floor then skipped onwards to Shinji's door, thoroughly preparing her cute appearance for him. Sliding the door away from her, Asuka entered Shinji's bedroom and playfully poked at his cheek to awaken him. With slight annoyance, Shinji unwillingly opened his eyes and immediately noticed Asuka, her hair having been combed into a glimmering perfection under the low light of his room. Her fresh, clean scent enthralled his senses. He quickly got up and readied himself for their "first date."

Saying their goodbyes to Misato for the day, Shinji and Asuka walked together out of the apartments and into the city streets of Tokyo-3, still quite a ways to the school. They conversed of their earlier days as a pilot-in-training for the Evas and had at times, mentioned the ever so enigmatic Rei. Their eyes never strayed away from each other.

Asuka grabbed and held her hand with his, with Shinji blushing by the touch, as they arrived to school. Both knew to their evident show of affection that it would easily welcome troubles and many a controversy from the students. But they didn't care, for they knew they both loved each other, and naught be able to shatter their indestructible bond.

Or... can it?

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_to be continued..._


	2. Rei's Intervention

**To Love... or Not?**  
By Satosh1

Chapter 2: Rei's Intervention

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The couple stepped into the school doors, and immediately it already seemed like everyone had stopped their mingling and other activities, if only to stare at them. Asuka leaned her head onto Shinji's shoulder as they stared, making Shinji feel a little insecure. A couple of the male students who recognized Shinji from their classes, cheered and whistled at his win of Asuka's affections. Shinji smiled as they patted his back and shoulder, while his face gave away a consistent color of cherry blossoms. Asuka was quite amused at Shinji's reactions to it all and clutched at his arm warmheartedly.

Shinji walked the halls with a steady strut, bolstering his relationship with Asuka towards everyone within the school. Some of the girls were even saddened by Shinji's unavailability and were envied by Asuka, in which she merely winced at them. One of them even shouted "I love you Shinji!" in hopes to have his attention, but Shinji was all too conscious of Asuka that he didn't hear or acknowledge anything for his love was already taken by the girl beside him.

Asuka and Shinji stepped within the classroom of 2-A, where further stares were received. Releasing themselves from each other's grip, they sat in their corresponding seats, in which they were already conveniently placed next to each other. Asuka turned her head to Shinji and blew a kiss at him with a charming wink. Shinji blushed and motioned his hands to capture the imaginary kiss within a slick two-finger grasp, pretending to place it onto his own lips. Asuka also blushed, a just a tad more than Shinji had. It was an adorable game of who would be able to have the other person blush more, it seemed. Within watching, Toji became sickened. He regretted to have been placed so close to Shinji and had a perfect remark to shout out. But, he decided to keep quiet, for reasons he never really knew himself. Instead of trying to figure it out, Toji simply went back to his usual slumber.

The teacher came in and started the class with another of his boring lectures. He rambled on about mathematical algorithms and other nonsense that confused those who were paying attention. And almost no one did, as they were using their laptops to message Shinji and Asuka of their earlier show of affections. Shinji received this peculiar message from an unexpected person he knew;

"_Ikari, what will NERV say of this?"_

- Ayanami, Rei

He looked back to where Rei was seated, and as usual she was staring out the window with a dreary look, her head placed onto her hand as she leaned her arm onto her desk. Shinji sighed as Rei gave him no notice, and then he returned to his laptop where a number of new messages piled up. Rei looked to Shinji, disappointed by her bad timing. She became upset that her "opportunity" had disappeared as simple and as swiftly as that. Rei looked downwards to the floor, although she never understood why she did so.

Shinji pondered at the thought of what NERV would actually do if it had to come to telling them of the truth. But that was easily forgotten as another message ensued, this time from Asuka. The title of the message seemed a bit menacing, but he selected it anyways.

"_Why were you LOOKING back at REI?"_

"_Never mind, I'll settle this MYSELF."_

- Sohryu, Asuka Langley

A small sweatdrop appeared on the side of his face after he read the message. He knew what would happen, and persuaded himself to do something to stop her fuming.

Shinji reluctantly stood up to block Asuka away from her meet with Rei. However, that didn't halt Asuka's advance, if not having even phased her. She pushed Shinji off to the side, rather carelessly, and made him tumble onto the ground after he failed to grasp a hold of his surroundings to regain balance. Some of the students laughed at his clumsiness.

Asuka came onto Rei's desk and slammed her arms on it as hard as she could. The earsplitting sound echoed throughout the room, causing many of the students to flinch back. Rei sat there looking over Asuka with a stern look, simply saying nothing as Asuka shouted at her with extreme obscenities, having it heard throughout the whole school. Many other students from nearby classes entered the room to watch, including their teachers. Everyone wanted to know what was going on.

They all stood and watched at a cautious distance as the dispute continued on. Shinji merely laid on the floor, covering his eyes to imagine himself not being there. He then heard a distinct dialogue between the two which caught his notice, and he listened in a little closer.

"_Why are you so interested in my Shinji anyways? It's not my fault you're so unapproachable towards the boys!"_

"_I cannot perceive the two of you forming a robust relationship."_

"_Oh yeah? And I can't see you ever hooking up with anyone else, either! Not even a dog would try to date you!"_

"_Your relationship with Ikari is merely an infatuation. It will never last."_

"_Shu... SHUTUP YOU BITCH!"_

There was an awful sound of someone being punched, echoing throughout the room and into the halls. And as Shinji opened his eyes, he peered to the direction of the conflict only to see Rei with a swollen, reddish bump upon her left cheek that didn't blend in well with her pale skin tone. Rei had fallen onto the floor by the impact made by Asuka's jab. Shinji was infuriated. He never laid an eye to Asuka as he approached to give aid to Rei.

He grabbed onto her arms from behind and helped her out the door to the nurse's office. Asuka became aware of the onlookers and shouted at each of them to stop staring, and they immediately went back to their activities. She sulked there for a time as Shinji had left with Rei without her, leaving her there alone within the classroom.

Almost to the door of the nurse's office, Rei whispered few words to Shinji.

"_Thank you... Ikari..."_

And then she fainted in Shinji's arms. As he glanced at her, he noticed a slight smile emanating from her face. He lifted her up with his arms and carried her into the nurse's office for care.

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_to be continued..._


	3. Heartbreak

**To Love... or Not?**  
By Satosh1

Chapter 3: Heartbreak

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**It was in the afternoon.**

The nurse inspected Rei's injuries and tended to them, and then she instructed Shinji to place her onto a nearby bed, in which he did. Shinji patted her wrinkled clothing to make her more comfortable. One of his fingers stroked Rei's abdomen unintentionally, and he flinched back in shame. A chuckle was heard throughout the room. He looked back, only to see the nurse laughing inexplicably. Shinji's face reddened as he looked down to the floor in embarrassment for awhile, and until he heard a familiar voice of quiet from near the bed.

_"...Ikari..."_

Rei had regained consciousness, though she still felt a bit muddled. She turned her head to glance at Shinji. The bump on her cheek formed larger than before. He looked at her with concern, and instructed her to rest a little more. Rei acknowledged by engaging in a quiet slumber. She came fast asleep, having felt contented by Shinji's presence.

Shinji admired the beautiful blue-haired stillness. He glanced at her for quite a time. And then, Shinji held her hand apologetically and expressed his regrets of having her become so unsightly and afflicted, by the ever so easily intimidated Asuka. Reassured, Shinji left out of the nurse's office to tend to other matters.

_"Asuka... why would you do something like this?"_

**Back within the class of 2-A.**

All the other students left for home, signaled by the recent bell. Asuka had slumped onto the ground, never caring if her clothes would dirty. Rei's statement had gotten the worst in her. She regretted what she had done.

"That... Rei... she pisses me off so badly..."

"_Now Shinji's caring for her... and not me..."_

"_Why did I do something so stupid..."_

_"There's no way in hell he's going to give me another chance now..."_

Suddenly, footsteps could be heard behind the door. Louder and louder it approached, and then someone entered the room.

_"Asuka?"_

She immediately recognized the voice to be of Shinji's. She only stared onto the floor, not knowing what to say. Shinji approached her gradually, kneeling down beside of her. He didn't speak a word as he inched closer to Asuka, carefully laying his arms around her waist to reassure her that their relationship hasn't ended. Asuka turned her head to his face, taken away by the unexpected. She gave a solemn smile with a blissful feeling that filled her soul entirely. Asuka wrapped her arms around his neck, lovingly. She was glad to have Shinji with her again.

Shinji whispered in her ear, _"Don't be so jealous next time, Asuka." _

Asuka accepted Shinji's request with a nod. She kissed Shinji on the cheek, and his face filled with a deep crimson shade at its touch. They both stood up from the floor and walked towards the window, gazing into the horizon while they held each other. They stayed the same for a time. It came to be the happiest day of their lives, together.

Rei left the nurse's office, informed to leave by the nurse for the bell had already rung. Her bruise was still apparent but otherwise she herself felt fine. Besides wondering where Shinji had went, she remembered leaving her bag within the classroom, and decided to acquire it before leaving. Rei approached the door of class 2-A with the signature monotone expression she has always put on. Familiar voices caught her hearing, in which to her, had seemed to come from inside. She curiously glanced through the door window. Asuka and Shinji came to her view. Immediately, feelings of unknown became of her. She tried to figure out these feelings.

_"What... what are these... feelings...?"_

_"These are... feelings of... disdain..."_

Rei understood. She recognized the same emotions, the same feelings, the same... hatred... she had when she first noticed them together. Maybe only towards Asuka, or maybe towards Shinji. She felt the feelings of jealousy, envy, betrayal, and of hate, for the first time.

Another emotion came unto, and she gasped, while witnessing the two kissing each other. Both of them were smiling. Rei clutched her chest with a slight whimper, as they did.

_"My... my heart aches...?"_

_"This is a common notion I have heard of before..."_

_"Is this... my heart... breaking?"_

She placed her other hand onto the window, still gazing at the couple in front of her. Her eyes gave tears. Tears of sadness, or tears of regret? She could not decide. Maybe it is of both? These feelings that she could once hold back without difficulty, had ultimately overwhelmed her. It grasped her in a powerful hold, and no matter how much she struggled, she couldn't be free of it.

_"Ikari... do I need you this much...?"_ Her voice had noticeably been weakened. She calmly whispered to herself of only one word. _"Yes..."_

Still clutching onto her chest, she slowly opened the door and stepped into the classroom. Asuka and Shinji watched her approach. Rei came close to him, her intentions becoming ever more clear to herself. She wanted to pour these emotions to him. To tell him these feelings of true. She wanted to let him know, before it was too late. She was unsuccessful.

Rei had fainted onto the floor.

_"AYANAMI!"_

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_to be continued..._


	4. Reprisal

**To Love... or Not?**  
By Satosh1

Chapter 4: Reprisal

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_"AYANAMI!"_

Shinji deliberately pressed away from Asuka's clutches. He approached aside Rei who fainted and collapsed onto the wooden, dirtied floorings, despite knowing Asuka would wholly disapprove. By Rei's right side, Shinji placed a hand onto the midpoint of her back with another hand grasping her right shoulder and lifted her gently upwards. Rei softly whimpered while, her eyes gradually opening to view the person doing so.

_"Ikari..."_ Rei whispered timidly, as she acknowledged her helper. _"I'm sorry... to burden you of me... again..."_

Shinji glanced at her, having been upset. _"You shouldn't have left your bed so early..."_

Rei prodded upwards startling Shinji, and moaned while clutching her left knee, it swelling a darkened blue in which had formed while she impacted onto the floor.

_"Rei, you sprained your knee..." _Shinji declared, as he carefully placed Rei's arm onto the back of his neck while standing her up to support her.

_"Asuka, grab her other arm," _Asked Shinji. _"We're going to carry her to Misato's apartment."_

Asuka responded,_ "Hell no Shinji, I'm not helping that stupid DOLL, especially when you expect me to bring and welcome her to our home!"_

_"This was YOUR fault Asuka,"_ Shinji stated firmly. _"She really needs our help. The least you can do is help me carry her there."_

_"F... Fine..." _Asuka sighed in expressing defeat.

Asuka unhurriedly approached opposite of where Shinji was and grabbed Rei's other arm to wrap around herself. And then she twitched at Rei's touch and felt entirely sickened by it. She truly didn't want to help Rei, but due to Shinji's bout with her, she was utterly inclined to. In slight irritation she sighed again, her eyes merely peering onto the corridor of where they headed, trying not to think of it all.

None of them had noticed, but Rei instantly gave away a small grin of delight from observing Asuka and her loathing. What had truly baffled her was why she was doing so in the first place, and in thinking so she stopped her grinning and turned into her usual monotone appearance, still somewhat confused by her unknown action.

And so, they both carried Rei out of the school and walked towards their apartment within the always seemingly empty streets of Tokyo-3. There was not a word spoken to one another, even when if it was the first time the three had ever gathered with one another outside of NERV. It was just a complete silence, and none were ever intimidated by it. To be so used to such quiet and stillness, it would come to fit well within their own statures, if not for their social ability.

**Within the doorsteps of Misato's Apartment.**

_"There Shinji, we're here now!"_ Asuka slightly donned in annoyance as she released Rei's arm from around her neck, rudely.

Shinji stepped onto the doorsteps and unlocked the door, pushing it inside while carefully carrying Rei into the apartment. Asuka merely followed behind of them.

Asuka shouted ahead, _"You're not putting her in my bedroom, that's for sure."_

To her dismay, Shinji ignored her completely by giving her no acknowledgement at all, simply carrying Rei into his bedroom and gently laying her atop of his neatly done, comfortable beddings, and then silently sliding the door shut. Of course, this only left Asuka with the notion that Shinji cared for Rei more than of her, and even though Shinji practically told Asuka of their relationship was not departing, she still had doubts.

_"Damn it... if only that stupid Rei hadn't always interfered..."_ Asuka alleged. _"Or... she must be doing this on purpose..."_

Her suspicions only led her doubting just about everything that happened at the school, and it also led her to become awfully curious to see and hear what they were saying to one another within the bedroom. She slowly creped towards the room like a stealthy fox, and stood beside the entrance door. She pressed her ear against it, and overheard some dialogue between the two.

_"Ayanami, just rest here for now, and I'll take care of your knee." _Shinji declared, while he grabbed a few new, hygienic bandages and gently lifted her afflicted knee a bit to wrap the bandages around the sprain, trying his hardest not to hesitate like he would normally do when in company of the ever intimidating Rei. He then reached for a spare pillow and placed the knee atop of it, all while Rei watched him, blushing a bright red. Rei gave a serene smile like she had done before, but it was vibrant and even noticeable, catching Shinji's eyes. He smiled back at her.

_"Thank you... again... Shinji..."_

He was in a total awe. Rei had for the first time, acknowledged and spoke his first name. Shinji smiled again, but with a greater shine.

_"I have to inform you... something of importance..."_ Rei gasped in her speech while her knee still gave ache, her wordings relinquished only by her determination to tell Shinji. She glanced around nervously, having Shinji simply glance at her with uncertainty.

_"I... I think I feel," _Rei noticeably stuttered within her speech._ "Lo...love... for y..."_

Rei was stopped by an obnoxious, soundly handling and slamming of the door beside them, and an angry, red-faced Asuka was visible, noticeably filled from the bottom up with a critical intensity.

_"DON'T YOU FINISH THAT SENTENCE, YOU STUPID BITCH," _Asuka had yelled to the top of her lungs. _"SHINJI IS MINE!"_

Shinji stood crouching beside the bed where Rei laid upon, with no idea of how to rightfully intervene.

_"I... uhm... Ayanami was just saying" _Shinji's words were ultimately interrupted.

_"I KNOW WHAT SHE WAS GOING TO SAY,"_ Asuka alleged. _"I love you, IS THAT CORRECT, REI!?"_

Rei answered while she pushed herself up away from her pillow. _"Yes."_

Fuming with rage, Asuka promptly approached aside Rei and gave her a slap to the same side where she was punched at, forcing Rei to clutch her head in pain and flinch back. Shinji began to immediately quake in rage from observing Asuka's carelessness in her actions, and he stood up with an extremely heated face, determined to give payback for Rei's unnecessary abuse.

_**And he did something he himself didn't know he could do.**_

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_to be continued..._


	5. Connections with Another

To Love... or Not?  
By Satosh1

Chapter 5: Connections with Another

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Shinji had shoved Asuka, hard. The push sent Asuka flying backwards, hitting her back onto the wall behind her, and thus giving a loud thud across the room. She yelped in pain. Shinji's eyes were filled with a fiery intensity. Soon after, he came to his senses, his eyes calmed, and he fully realized what had occurred.

_"What... what did I just do!?"_ Shinji shouted, a bit intensely. He glared upon the disgruntled Asuka who had landed onto the floor. Shinji dashed out of the apartment in fear, running down the stairs and sometimes stumbling his steps. He ran away, like he always had in all of his problems. It was a personality trait he thought he was rid of.

Asuka wasn't at all hurt, due to Shinji overestimating his own strength. She pondered for a time, wondering why Shinji pushed him, and also where he had went. After she stood herself up and dusted her shorts and undershirt, she immediately went in search for him. It was her determination to not lose Shinji's love that made her search so repeatedly. And it was also the same, which made her forget and overlook the incident that happened. Rei eventually got up out of Shinji's bed and followed soon after, though in her own direction, while grabbing an elongated umbrella from its hold to help support her as her knee still gave pain. It seemed like a race of who could find and catch the runaway.

Dusk began to form from above. It was only a matter of time before the darkness had blanketed the skies with its vast number of bright, twinkling stars. The city lights diminished what else surrounded Tokyo-3 with a similar illumination to the moon, it having emerged from its common slumber to shine upon everyone with its silver luminescence.

Shinji ran a few distances outside from the apartment building, only stopping for the reason that he felt stupid to have done so from the beginning.

_"Why am I running away..."_ Shinji whimpered. _"Why am I running away... again...?"_

He peered around until he found a bench, and he sat, slouching upon it, his eyes wondering around the endlessly pebbled pathway on the ground. Calming himself, he immersed himself in thoughts and pondered on about what he would do when it would come to the inevitable; to confront the fiery persona, Asuka. His thoughts came to an end, as he noticed someone approaching him from the same building. And it would be a girl with the ever individualized hair of light blue.

_"Ayanami..." _Shinji quietly whispered.

Though handicapped, Rei had managed to come down from Misato's apartment from the endless stairs with only an umbrella sustaining her. It worried Shinji bitterly.

_"Ikari... I have not finished my earlier discussion with you..." _Rei quietly stated as she came closer.

A slight wobbling of the same arm that had her hand clutched on the umbrella, gave notice to Shinji. The umbrella could not hold Rei any longer as it suddenly snapped in half, having Rei tumble to the ground, her face firstly. But the impact was blocked, by someone. Rei clutched both her hands onto what would be the arms of Shinji Ikari, and her face had landed gently onto his chest instead. Her cheeks filled a great red, being her first time having been so close to someone, even if it was somewhat unintentional.

Shinji asked with a worried expression,_ "Are you okay, Ayanami?"_

_"Yes..." _Rei said only that single word. She became aware of a new feeling coursing through her body.

Rei enjoyed the newfound sensation. A feeling of... embrace... one of the many affectionate emotions Rei had never experienced within her short life. She wanted to indulge in it more, and more was what she had. She clutched at Shinji's slender build ever more tightly, and shut her eyes among the sense.

Rei's scent intruded Shinji's senses, awestruck by how pleasant it was. He glanced upon Rei's face, convinced he was watching over a heavenly angel. He had only realized these feelings. Feelings that had only come to form. Feelings he never thought he had for the girl holding him. Feelings he now had only realized, for Rei Ayanami. Shinji slowly wrapped his arms around her and held her waist. Rei jumped at the soft held.

_"I..." _Rei stuttered noticeably in her speech.She lifted her head up to glance at Shinji's eyes. And it was in that same time, where she would finally tell of her feelings for the 14-year old pilot of NERV. She uttered those four lone words, those she had longed hoped to confess.

_"I love you, Shinji..."_

Her lips approached Shinji. They touched his own. And they blushed a bright crimson red while their lips were locked, their newfound, pleasant emotions fluttering immensely like the flight of beautiful butterflies. Rei held onto Shinji's hand as their kiss continued, further enchanting their desires.

At that time, it didn't matter what obligations Shinji had for Asuka. It also didn't matter what would happen to him if Asuka were to find out. Shinji never had a care in the world, as their loving embrace was the only thing of importance in that single, beautiful tranquility. They stood among the moonlight of serene which glittered upon them. Rei's ivory complexion glowed amongst the shine with total elegance, her light-blue hair glimmering by the moonlight.

They did not know it, nor would they have cared if they did, but Asuka had been watching from the window of the apartment, observing everything. She gave a haunting stare, looking down upon Shinji and Rei as they still held their lips together. Her anguish and heartbreak was hidden from her appearance, covered by her overwhelming rage. Indefinitely, it was there. She punched the table beside her as hard as she could and then muttered a few words.

_"Rei... you slut... you won this time..."_

_"But don't think I will ever let go of this..."_

_"We'll see who gets Shinji in the end..."_

_"I will never give up... even if my life depended on it... you'll see..."_

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_to be continued..._


	6. To Forget and not Forgive

**To Love... or Not?**  
By Satosh1

Chapter 6: To Forget and not Forgive

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"_Ikari, would you like to come to my apartment?"_ Rei queried as she clutched at Shinji's arm.

And he responded with slight hesitation. _"Oh... sure." _

With a loving hold of each other's hands, they tread the path to her complex where Rei's apartment resided in. Rei clutched his hand in the same manner as Asuka, which reminded Shinji of the headstrong pilot of Unit 02. But he easily rid the thought, for he already had another, and it would be the person he held hands with. His eyes glanced onto the girl beside him, knowing from that moment on, his life will change in ways unimaginable. Was he dreaming? Would this be all just a simple nightly slumber of visions? To him, it felt a so, and he feared having to wake up and know that it was only a figment of his imagination. And while contemplating so, Rei turned her head to Shinji and gave a petite, little smile of splendor within his view, and he contentedly returned it with his own. No, it wasn't a dream. This was reality. That, he became certain of.

Asuka followed cautiously in the shadows, leaping into the corners of buildings and behind trees whenever she saw even a hint of them halting their stroll. She became extremely intent on knowing where they could be going, and what they could be doing. That was all she had sought to know, and it had solely driven her to sneak like much of a skilled ninja, within the dark of night. The shadows were ultimately her friend, at this time.

The two stood nearby Rei's apartment door.

The door was left unlocked as it always was, as Rei seemed to be the only person living in the entire building. There was no fear for invasion of privacy. She turned the knob and gradually pulled it open. A loud creaking of its rusty bolts sounded across the room and echoed all over. Without any running electricity, the apartment remained darkened and gloomy. The only lights they had were of the brilliant moonlight and stars shone through the window. Rei took her shoes off, Shinji mimicking the same, and both stepped into the room. As usual, everything was unmoved and never seemingly touched from Shinji's last visit. Bloody bandages were cluttered around the floor, a glass bottle filled with water sat atop a table, and a pair of yellow-framed bifocals rested on the drawers. The same drawers, where she laid her endless pairs of panties, bras and socks in. Shinji would know that very well.

Quietly, Rei sat on her bed and scooted over to make a place for Shinji. She welcomed him to join her with a slight smile as she glanced upon him. The declaration of love for him, a sudden invite to her home, and now the bed... Shinji thought of these three and became awfully panicky as he approached to sit next to her. There was a silence between the two, puzzling Shinji, but he figured it to be particularly usual coming from Rei, as she had always been quiet amongst whoever she was with. A slight breeze of chills came from through the window beside them. Rei seemed unaffected, but Shinji shivered a bit at the sense.

"_Are you cold?"_ Rei quietly asked, while noticing his shiver.

Shinji smiled assuredly. _"No, I'm fine."_

Rei frowned while looking down on the floor, to Shinji's dismay. Moreover, she seemed to be a little sad.

Shinji playfully whispered, _"Well... yeah... it is a little chilly..."_

With the conclusion to his words of tease, Rei propped up seemingly full of energy and jumped into Shinji's arms, as if she had been planning such an event from the beginning. Shock and awe, the two expressive words of surprise, engulfed Shinji's thoughts entirely. It had been so unexpected, especially having seen it from Rei. Nevertheless, this had told Shinji something truly remarkable. For the first time, he experienced Rei's livelier side of her otherwise reserved, enigmatic persona, for himself. The side where he only witnessed from afar from within his Eva. The side he had most wanted to be familiar of. Truly happy, he was.

They held each other on the bed, their bodies relaxed and calm from each other's warmth. Once again they kissed, their eyes closed and their hands roaming each other's bodies in a mad desire. Newfound sensations enticed their love even further than they ever imagined. And while they kissed, Shinji felt something soft intruding within his mouth, rubbing against his lips and tongue. He playfully bit the intrusion, having Rei moan a little as she continued their joyful amusement. After quite a while, Rei finally broke the kiss of passion and glared upon Shinji's own eyes, wanting to ask something.

In a steady whisper, she asked solemnly, _"Ikari... do you love me?"_

His arms around her waist and answering with certainty, he said in her ear, _"Yes, Ayanami... of course I love you."_

Rei began doubting his words. _"But... there is still a problem, that I worry of."_

Shinji reluctantly voiced the name of his previous love. _"Asuka..."_

"_I will not have her punch me again."_ She wickedly stated while stroking her afflicted cheek.

He smiled in amusement and chuckled a little at the way Rei had said it. To comfort her, Shinji hugged her gently and laid her atop of the soft beddings. Their love was all that mattered. They quickly fell asleep in each other's arms as the moonlight struck them from through the window with its silvery essence.

Outside the apartment complex.

Asuka had lagged behind them, as on-lookers were staring at her while she had been hiding behind objects. Unfortunately while stopping her pursuit due to embarrassment, her sight of them became lost. She simply strolled along the city while thinking to herself, since she didn't know where Rei's apartment was. Nor did she even care to know.

"_This is stupid,"_ Asuka thought. _"Why am I following that idiot Shinji and that stupid little doll?"_

She sighed, walking in a lonesome and constantly wondering if her relationship with Shinji had come to a conclusion. Her regrets for upsetting Shinji became her favored thought provoker, but it was too late to give amends. Besides, she knew or had an idea, what Shinji and Rei were doing in the apartment. She was unwilling to accept it, but utterly could not due to the notion becoming stronger by each of her following footsteps.

"_I'm going home." _Asuka whispered to herself, while looking at the concrete groundings. She headed towards Misato's apartment, her face immediately shifting into a fierceness while she cursed her competition in a mumbling.

"_I can't just let Rei win..."_

_She grinned mischievously as an idea gave notice. "Maybe I'll... seduce him when he comes back..."_

"_Yes... I do have an arsenal of clothing... and many other... personals..."_

"_He'll come running back to me..."_

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_to be continued..._

_Ending Notes: Tell me of any errors that I may have missed or misread. It'll be much appreciated. I welcome brutality within reviews._


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